Yesterday I did something I hadn't done since 2008 (yes that's right 2008) I left my house alone! To be honest it was out of necessity rather than choice. I needed to get to the doctors to have my pap smear (that was very overdue) performed. I promised my GP in February that I would get it done this year.
The original plan was that my husband would take me whilst my friend came and dog sat. My dogs eat the furniture when I leave the house. The damage they reeked on my home whilst both my husband and I worked was extensive. They also like to "sing" whilst we are absent and that tends to upset the neighbours. So the dogs have to come with us or have a baby sitter whilst we are out. Due to my physical condition it isn't much of a problem the majority of my trips out of the house are for medical appointments and they tend to happen every 8-12 weeks. I am just not physically able to leave the house, I find the outside environment overstimulating leaving me excessively fatigued and I struggle to cope being upright without feeling faint etc.
So the original plan went pear shaped when my husband informed me that he now had to work nights on the week of my appointment. OK so now he would stay with the dogs and my friend would take me to the Dr's. In less than 24 hours that plan hit the skids also. My friend became very poorly through a horrid asthma attack and was admitted to hospital. So now I had to come up with yet another plan. I decided that I would go it alone on my crutches to the Dr's instead of using my wheelchair. I booked a taxi and then spent the next several hours in a state of nervousness that I cant even begin to describe.
To those of you who are independent you probably cant get your head around my fea,r to be honest I hope that you never will. My fears were all perfectly reasonable - what if there was a queue at the reception desk and I had to stand for too long? What if I fainted in public and hurt myself? What if I found I couldn't walk as it was too painful? What if my ptosis started to kick in and I couldn't see? What if? and the list went on and on and on.
I went anyway despite the fact I whipped myself up into a frenzy, I felt amazingly independent. I laughed myself silly when I nearly left the taxi without paying (I am so used to getting lifts everywhere!). The taxi driver was very nice - I told him what a big day it was for me (I neglected to mention the reason behind my visit!) and he chatted to me all the way down to the doctors surgery to keep my mind off my big adventure.
The only incident that did occur was that I managed to dislocate my right hip whilst assuming "the position" for my smear. That was painful but I tried to ignore it as at that moment the nurse was actually engaged in the process! It only became obvious that there was a problem when I tried to walk out of the surgery.
So I hurt all over from the simple act of walking, my elbows are blistered from using crutches, my hip is stiff and sore. But now I know that I can get to the doctors if I need to and I do. I need to see my GP about my pain medications as my pain is not currently being controlled very well.
It may not seem like much of an adventure but it was for me!