I am suffering from illness induced writers block. I don't want to post apologising yet again for there not being a post. It has happened far too often this year already. I know it can't be helped but if I can't achieve just one blog post a week where as for the majority of last year I was posting on Mondays and Thursday's, it feels like a pretty poor show.
My health is crazy this year, just one new symptom after another. I tend to write my blog posts on Saturday's when hubby is at work so I can work in peace and quiet without being disturbed by my hubby shouting at his latest PS4 game because it's not going well or being asked to "look at that" usually a sporting event. My husband will watch any sport on TV. I swear if they made an Olympic sport out of watching paint dry he would watch it!
However things as usual didn't go to plan, Saturday was a complete wash out. In the morning I had been feeling a little dizzy and very tired. I put it down to low blood pressure. I drank loads, lay on the sofa watching The Tudors (I really enjoyed that and watched all the seasons in a week!) hoping it would pass. It didn't it only got worse. Sunday I felt ok but my parents had made it up to their caravan and it was the first time I had seen my mum since her operation. So Sunday was not a productive day writing wise either. I was still stuck for a topic and my mind was a complete blank.
Monday was the first day of my husbands holiday leave from work, as I was supposed to be being admitted to hospital and he was taking time off to look after the dogs. At 8:15 Monday morning I found out through a friend that the ward was closed due to infection and they weren't admitting anyone. I was over the moon, I know I am supposed to be getting tests done but I was feeling really lousy and hospital was the last place I wanted to be. I wasn't ill enough to be in hospital and all I wanted was my own bed. So I had yet another reprieve and I could write my blog post on Tuesday but I was still without a topic and I was starting to get slightly stressed about it.
Tuesday I rang the hospital just to confirm I wasn't being admitted and that was correct. So I decided I would charge up the old chromebook and try to think of a topic whilst it was on charge. Well that plan back fired too. I started getting weird spinning sensations. I can only say it was very much like having drunk too much, the whole room span for a second and then stopped. My heart sank as this was how it had started on Saturday. Over the course of the morning the spinning sensations got closer together until there was no break in them. I downed some Stugeron, my go to medicine when I am dizzy but they did nothing. I soldiered on but it just made me feel increasingly ill by 5pm I took to my bed.
So we come to Wednesday, the day before my blog post is published and all I can think is what bloody blog post? There is no blog post written. I have no topic springing to mind, I have writers block, I am still feeling crap from yesterdays attack. I am feeling pretty sorry for myself and I am panicking as there is nothing ready for Thursday. The deadline is looming, this has never happened before.
I am feeling so sorry for myself I called the doctor's surgery and managed to get an appointment straight away! I avoid going to the doctors as much as possible. I can manage most of my conditions at home the majority of the time. I only go when something is happening that is out of my control and I don't have answers for. So today I saw a locum doctor at the practice and explained the problems I have been having with my ears and how disabling the attacks of dizziness are. I had already researched Menieres disease as it runs in my family and told her from what I had read my attacks are text-book - which for me to have a condition that is text-book is quite unusual! She agreed with me and has requested me for an ENT Consultant referral.
Of course all of this gets me no closer to my goal of a topic for my blog post and I hesitate to admit it but I do still have writers block. I simply have zero ideas on that front, so I have bored you all to death with the events of my life!
Then at the doctor's appointment something weird happened. The doctor was very through going through all my notes, she turned to me and asked how my Myasthenia was. I nearly fell off the chair, I replied "Myasthenia?" and she said "yes it says on your notes you have been diagnosed with Myasthenia, how often do you see your neurologist?". I said "the story that could be told about that diagnosis is far too long for a ten minute consultation and you are already running half an hour late. It basically depends on what doctor I see as to whether I have Myasthenia or not. When I take mestinon my ptosis and stroke like symptoms disappear. " I left it at that, in shock however that the diagnosis of MG which I had been told had been removed, was still on my records. So that is either an administrative mistake or they are covering their arses.
Regardless I still have writers block!