Bigger break than expected

I never intended to be away this long from the blog and I can't promise that I will get back into regular posting any time soon. However those of you who have followed me for a while deserve an update so here it is.

Over the last few months Mr Myasthenia Kid and I have been sorting out his late mothers estate ready for probate ( this is a thing we do in the UK, it just means that the will that has been left is legally binding and that inheritance tax is sorted if the estate is worth more than a set amount ). We have also been winding up her accounts and any payments due. At times this has felt like a full time job, every day off during the week Mr Myasthenia Kid and I have had to make various phone calls etc with some company's being so inept even when dealing with a bereavement team that multiple phone calls have been made, letters to CEO's have been delivered and on a few occasions we have been awarded compensation due to the mess they have made.

It seriously feels like we haven't had a day off from this in months and now whilst probate has been granted and the last little bits and pieces are getting done, we now have to sell our home of 18 years. 

Selling a house is stressful, combine that with the loss of both of your husbands parents and the stress levels rocket to something you have never seen before. When I do get a minute to call my own, which is really bloody rare currently it is mainly spent zombie like due to exhaustion. I am waiting for an enormous crash, my health has taken some really dodgy turns over the last few months. On a couple of occasions I have almost called 999 for an ambulance as I have had bowel adhesion pain so bad I have passed out. I have had week's of non stop migraines triggered by occipital neuralgia and that has then impacted my sleep. At least once a week we travel down to the new house to ensure that everything is ok and that is also adding to my levels of fatigue. I have got to the point of just wanting the whole silly game to be over with and we only had the photos taken by the estate agent this morning - I am writing this on Wednesday.

Our home has had to have some decorating done and some tidying up in places. It is hard work scheduling everything in when you have so many different things to deal with. Finally things are coming together and we are in a position where we can put our happy home up for sale. Which I never ever thought we would do as after moving here in 2003, I categorically stated I would never, ever move house again! 

I know that we are really lucky in the fact we can move our belongings into the new place and not have to do a mad one day move that is the norm. I can't wait to have my bed down at the house as the bed that is there at the moment isn't very comfortable. It is always the same though isn't it? There is nothing like your own bed. Although Mr Myasthenia Kid reckons he sleeps better at the new house than he does here.

Our current home is now just a shell, all we have left to move down are the white goods, my bed ( including mattress) and some bits and pieces. The rest is either being left for the new owner or given away via a local group on Facebook to families in need. I often go to put something away and realise that I no longer own it or it is down at the new house. It does feel like we are constantly living in limbo not quite belonging here but equally not 100% belonging there.

My emotions are all over the place, I go through regular waves of overwhelming sadness at losing my in laws, leaving this house, leaving my home town of 26 years, leaving my friends and valuable support network. To then being filled with excitement at the new adventure before us, coming up with plans for the garden and colour schemes for the rooms. At times it can feel quite wrong to be pleased about the new house because it came at such a high price. There is just so much to process that I just don't have any desire to write either blogs. I need a break from everything but I can see it being a few months until we actually do finally feel grounded again.

So due to this my blogging maybe sporadic as it has been since October. Sometimes life just gets in the way. With so many changes happening in a small period of time, I simply can't keep all the plates spinning like I did when life was a tad quieter and simpler.

Keep everything crossed for us that the house sale goes smoothly, we could do with a bit of good luck for a change!