Showing posts with label dyscalculia. Show all posts
Showing posts with label dyscalculia. Show all posts

Monday, 25 August 2014

My visit to the Neurosurgeon

A week or so ago I saw a neurosurgeon regarding the awful pain my back is causing me that also radiates into my legs on a bad day. I decided to pay and see him privately so I avoided the obligatory physio sessions that you have to have on the NHS before you get anywhere near a neurosurgeon.

My back has caused me problems all my life. Since the age of 16 I have herniated discs. I had to sit my a-levels wearing a soft collar because the week before the exams started I had to push my broken down car out of the way of traffic. Whilst pushing the car I slipped and that was all that was needed to provide me with a few weeks of horrendous pain. Not great when all of the exams were at least 2 hours long and would be sat at a desk. My doctor at the time provided the exam boards with a note to give me special consideration as I was answering questions through a haze of painkilling medications and I was also allowed to be seated at the back so that at regular intervals I could get up and move around without disturbing the other students.

In 1999 I injured my back severely during a cool down after an exercise class. Again I had herniated a disc and was in severe pain for several weeks. Unfortunately I worked for probably the most unsympathetic boss ever who despite being informed of my injury still expected me to charge around here there and everywhere with gusto. 

This back injury had lasting effects - the side of my left foot went numb and from then on I have never been able to ride a bike without my nether regions going numb. Thats probably too much information for some of you but I like to be completely honest. When I saw a gp regarding the bike riding issues I was laughed out of the surgery. I recently discussed this with my current gp, one of the good guys and he was flabbergasted that such an issue would be treated in this manner. He had no issue at all sending me for a private referral and understood my reluctance to be treated by the same physio I had a few years earlier, who claimed to be a specialist with EDS but had no understanding of autonomic nervous system issues.

I had to pay £185 for the privilege of seeing my neurosurgeon, which in the world of private appointments is small change. The most I have ever paid was £430 for a private MRI and the most I have spent on a private consultant is £300. My eyes are watering as I tot up the amount I have spent outside the NHS since 2007 trying to find answers for my health issues. If only I had known I would find my own answers through Google! However it was still a battle trying to get referred for the appropriate tests on the NHS.

The neurosurgeon I saw works out of a tiny clinic in a village less than 15 minutes away from where we live. Travel is a nightmare for me so to avoid having to go into the city was a bonus. Parking was easy unlike the large hospital where if you arrive after 9am your chances of getting a disabled parking spot are virtually zero.

The Neurosurgeon greeted us at reception, he seemed very hands on unlike all the other consultants I have seen either on the NHS. All the other consultants I have seen regardless of who they work for seem to send someone else out to fetch their patients. My NHS hospital consultant always comes out and gets me, I find that is a much more approachable way of doing things instead of immediately creating a barrier between patient and doctor. It was a long walk between reception and his office so I was immediately regretting using crutches instead of my wheelchair. The building itself had seemed quite small on the outside, inside however it was labyrinth like.

We reached a tiny little room at the end of a long corridor, where immediately the doctor took our coats and hung them up on the back of the door. Inside was a desk 2 chairs and an examination bed and the obligatory model of the human spine! 

It was nice to know that the doctor knew my own gp on a personal level and he also had the same air of familiarity about him. I was asked the question that irritates me the most "do you work?" and I explained that I hadn't since 2008 and the reasons why. For more info on my feelings related to that question please go to the blog post "Do you work?" at blogger or WordPress . 

We then had a quick run through of my symptoms and I was asked to gauge out of 100 my back pain assigning one percentage to my leg pain and one percentage to my back pain. Initially due to my issue with numbers in general due to my dyscalculia I didnt get what he meant. Which made me look a wee bit silly. So bless him he explained it in a clearer way for me. "Eureka" I've got it! I explained the majority of my pain was felt in my legs I assigned 70% to this and then gave the remaining 30% to my back. Now although I wrote in my post about B12 deficiency WordPress / Blogger that my leg pain reduced after my first B12 injection it hasnt gone and on a bad day it is still unbearable. The bad days have no correlation to my loading doses and my left foot is still numb. I know its early days with the B12 treatment as you continue reading you will understand that there is an issue with my back and that is causing some of the pain in my legs.

Once he had gone through the various questions he needed to ask me I had to be examined. Luckily it was just a case of removing my shoes and my top not exactly a comfortable experience. He asked me to point on my spine where I felt the pain. He then poked and prodded my back asking "does this hurt?" as I squealed in pain and tried to peel myself from the ceiling. He then asked me to bend forward and touch my toes. Now looks can be deceiving, I am not the trimmest of specimens and logic would say I would be lucky to be able to reach my knees. However due to the Ehlers Danlos Syndrome I placed the palms of my hands flat on the floor. The dr responded with "blimey you are bendy!"





I am sure many doctors see the diagnosis of EDS and don't quite believe how flexible we are, especially if like me you are a little on the large side. I am incredibly flexible and my back is probably the bendiest bit which is why it gives me the most trouble. He then took me through the Beighton Scale, almost as if to re-confirm the diagnosis. As I know what the scale is I threw in a few extras for free just to freak him out! My Beighton scale has been upped now from a 7/9 to a 9/9 as previous doctors didnt think my elbows were hypermobile. This doctor did but it just goes to show how subjective the scale is and how it should really be measured with instruments rather than the naked eye.







Having "proved" once again that I do have EDS I was then made to lie on the examination couch. I had to do various exercises like push his hand away with my big toe and then with my feet. All went really well until I had to elevate my legs. The right one went up so far and so quickly if I had not been careful I could have bashed myself in the face. Its not something I ever do at home so I wasn't expecting the left leg to be any different. Bizarrely I only managed to lift it a little before it became stuck and would move no further. The doctor must've seen the look on my face because he asked if I was in pain. The answer was no, my face was displaying sheer panic. It just wouldn't move any further and was stuck. It caused no pain at all. Its very hard when you are used to your limbs being elastic and they suddenly aren't the same anymore.

Examination complete he asked me to get off the examination couch and get dressed. Thats where the fun started! When I get up from a lying position I have always found it easier to roll onto my side and lift myself up. Only my back was having none of it and my arms werent much use either. I lay their stranded like a beached whale. He offered to help but I declined embarrassed that I couldn't do the simple task of sitting up. After what seemed like an eternity I made it to a seated position. This was still too quick for my body and I ended up having a pre-syncopal episode. 

Once I finally made it back to the chair he took out the model of the spine and went through what he believed was wrong. Apparently I am showing the classic signs of Facet joint arthritis. At 40 I am a little young to have this condition (its mainly found in people over 45 who have been athletes, dancers or done hard manual labour) but EDS can cause early onset arthritis. I suspect I have a touch of arthritis in my fingers also as they can be very stiff and painful on waking. He then went through my back / leg symptoms and said they were all pointing to a nerve root compression at S1. The fact I couldn't lift my leg was a textbook symptom. Luckily all my reflexes are intact, my mum who has the same problems as me is much worse having lost the reflexes in her leg and therefore requiring extensive surgery.

He then went through the various treatment options however we will know more when I have an MRI scan later this week. I will be booking an appointment to see him once its been done, thats another £130 privately. I could be waiting several months on the NHS for an appointment to do exactly the same thing.He will then go through the results of the MRI scan with me.

Its really stupid but I am terrified that the MRI will show nothing at all and I will be accused of making up all my symptoms. Its a pretty expensive way of getting attention but thats not what is going on. My phobia about doctors is just kicking in and although I know I am showing textbook symptoms I can't shake the element of doubt rattling around my head.

My options are depending on how bad the damage is  are injections or a nerve root decompression operation. The nerve root may need to be decompressed on both sides of the vertebrae as I am developing symptoms on my right side also when its a bad day. The doctor informed me an operation like this doesn't come without risks and he would go through them at a later date. He is sure however should I have an operation the pain will be gone when I come around from the general anaesthetic.

My operation would be carried out on the NHS, I just don't have the funds to pay for it myself. The surgeon also works for the NHS and would do the operation himself rather than pass me off to another surgeon. I told him if I had the operation he would be the only one doing it. I asked my gp when he referred me to this surgeon who he would have treat him. He answered this neurosurgeon, I trust my gp's judgement.

At the end of my appointment the Neurosurgeon warned me that after the examination I would be in pain, he wasn't wrong. I ended up having a flare that lasted three days (where the pain was close to being a 10/10 on the pain scale) and it's taken until today (15 days later) for it to completely settle down. When I say settle down I don't mean zero pain, I mean a pain that I can deal with and that goes away with additional painkillers should I need them.

Since the examination I have found that there are now things that are acting as triggers and exacerbating the pain. Bending forward is causing a lot of back pain and I am locking up more frequently when I try to straighten up. Maybe its just because I am more aware of the issues with my back where as before I adopted the head in the sand technique who knows?

Of course I will update you once I have had the scan.......




Willow keeping company whilst I recovered in bed after the appointment.

Monday, 10 March 2014

Dyscalculia - the forgotten learning disability

Ever heard of dyscalculia? No?  Nor had I until watching BBC breakfast a few years ago when a woman who is a professor in mathematics was talking about her issues with basic maths. I'm really sorry that I can't remember her name as I would like to email her and say thank you for talking about it and making me realise when it comes to maths I'm not stupid I just don't think like everyone else.

I've hated maths with a passion for years. It was the only subject in school that I couldn't' get to grips with. In every other subject I was an A grade student. Maths was my nemesis!

Maths made me freeze up, even now the thought of not having a calculator when maths are called for can give me sweaty palms. Thank Goodness mobile phones (cell phones) come with calculators on them! At one point when I was working I owned 4 calculators so I was never without one.

Maths is everywhere you can't hide from it. If you cook you use maths                 (weighing out ingredients, doubling up a recipe, cooking times etc) banking, shopping, telling the time, even playing a board game can involve maths. I could never join in playing darts down the pub because darts involves maths, the kind I just can't do unless you have a calculator handy!

I knew something was wrong with me as a child but I thought it was plain stupidity. How can it be that I can be taught multiplication tables daily and still not know them? How is it I can't add 8 + 5 without counting it on my fingers? It is 13 right? And yes I had to check by counting on my fingers even though I've been using this sum for two days in my head whilst preparing this post. Who does that?

The weird thing is I know that 8 + 4 = 12 and can do that without counting on my fingers. However I don't see what everyone else would describe as the obvious when it comes to maths. That 8 + 5 has to be 13 because 5 is just one more than 4. My brain doesn't see the connection and there's nothing I can do to make it. I'm lacking the innate mathematical ability that the majority of people are born with. But that doesn't make me stupid it just makes me different!

I was a child of the 80's and I thank my lucky stars for that as digital watches were all the rage. It covered up my inability to tell the time beautifully. I actually couldn't tell the time until I was 18. I was ok with quarter pasts, quarter to, o'clock and half past but the bits in between, I had no idea what so ever. Someone telling me I had to meet them at 25 (minutes) to, meant I would be there at half past because I knew 25 to, was somewhere between the half past and the quarter to but I just didn't know where.

I developed a habit of being chronically early which endures to this day. My reasoning was if I got there early I couldn't be told off for being late. Now if my husband and I leave the house later than I have planned in my head it makes me anxious and makes things seem like they are out of control. I don't 'do' late and I get really cross when other people have a laissez faire attitude to time keeping. I'm getting better but I still have to stop myself saying something because its my problem not theirs - unless they are taking the piss and stroll in two hours late and I've had that happen!

Dyscalculia can be described as dyslexia and dyspraxia's poor relation. It was identified as a learning disability 1974 by Dr. Ladislav Kosc. http://allaboutdyscalculia.weebly.com/history-of-dyscalculia.html

Little has changed since it was identified kids aren't tested for it routinely and still all these years on kids like me are labelled as being "stupid" when it comes to maths. Where as many people including teachers are aware of dyslexia many people are unaware of the condition dyscalculia.

Testing for dyscalculia is still being developed and current tests are only available for primary school children. I've not been officially diagnosed as having dyscalculia but as with my medical conditions (postural orthostatic tachycardia syndrome, Ehlers Danlos syndrome and severe autonomic dysfunction) when I read the websites the description / symptoms were me exactly.

Much research has been conducted on what area of the brain is involved in mathematical problem solving. Dyscalculia can be congenital or it can come about due to stroke or traumatic brain injury. My dyscalculia is congenital, Ive never known my mathematical ability or lack of it to be any different. It is also believed by some researchers to be an inherited condition.

Dyscalculia affects individuals differently we mainly have issues with mathematical concepts, learning things like multiplication tables as we can not retain the information. I have problems if a news article says someone has been awarded a six figure salary, it means absolutely nothing to me. I have problems with thousands, hundreds of thousands and millions. Not as written words but when they appear in their numerical form. So much so Im not even confident about writing what they would look like.

Another dyscalculia give away is problem learning to tell the time, I've developed my own coping strategies to deal with this. Even when I write the time I tend to run into problems as I write the time military style so 1810 not 18:10 or 6.10. I get really funny about people saying that they don't know if I am referring to a year or the time. It may be funny to them to point out what they perceive as a mistake but to me it takes me back to the Friday afternoon humiliation of my primary school teachers maths quiz, where we weren't allowed to write down how to work the answer out but had to do it in our heads. To a person with dyscalculia trying to work out something in your head is akin to learning a foreign language with no text book or teacher. I cant see the numbers in my head they just don't exist. Now even thinking about the Friday afternoon quiz has upset me and made me angry. How as a child could I voice the fact I couldn't do it when surrounded by 29 other individuals who could? And what if I had, would my teacher have known about dyscalculia or would have been just another weird thing I had said ?(I'm a lifelong vegetarian, with my sister we were the only vegetarians in the school) .

I am chronically oversensitive when it comes to maths and being perceived as stupid / thick/ unintelligent etc etc.

Dyscalculia can exist on its own, its believed 3-7% (depending on whose material you read) of the population has this learning difficulty. There are much higher incidences of dyscalculia in people who are dyslexic or dyspraxic. Some source material stating as high as 40-50% of those with dyslexia or dyspraxia also having dyscalculia.

Some websites describe dyscalculia as like dyslexia but with numbers. I don't have dyslexia so I couldn't tell you. To me it feels like I have a phobia of numbers / maths it terrifies me because I know no matter how hard I try I will on 99% of occasions get the answer wrong. Math causes me an awful lot of stress. To try and do mental math is impossible because in my head nothing is there it just goes blank. This probably sounds bizarre to those of you that don't have this learning disability. Your ability to do mental math astounds me!

Its hard to explain my problems with numbers having never known what its like to live without this problem and the condition is so varied amongst those it affects there is no one size fits all description.

In very basic terms we don't get numerical relationships, (don't even get me started on fractions!) we don't see what you would call the obvious and we can also have visual / spatial reasoning issues. The latter probably explains why I am rubbish at IQ tests, you know the ones where they ask you which number comes next in a sequence of numbers or what shape comes next? I must have baffled my teachers at school as clearly I wasn't stupid but my IQ tests results would have put me south of average.

I remember my GCSE maths teacher coming and seeing me when I returned to the sixth form a month after the GCSE results had come out. I had been predicted an E for Maths GCSE. I actually ended up with a C, to this day I have no idea why or how! Mr C came up to me and congratulated me on my result. He said to me something along these lines " whenever you handed in your basic maths coursework you would be in the bottom percentage of the class, but what I could never understand was when we were doing the advanced stuff you were the only one that ever got 100%. I just don't understand it." Well now Mr C you and I both understand why it happened I have dyscalculia!

I'm including some links that I've found helpful in putting this blog post together, for those of you who identify this in yourself or others around you.

http://www.bdadyslexia.org.uk/about-dyslexia/schools-colleges-and-universities/dyscalculia.html
http://aboutdyscalculia.org/symptoms.html
http://www.unicornmaths.com/dyscalculia/
http://allaboutdyscalculia.weebly.com/general-information.html

If I could also ask a special favour of you as well? Please can you share this blog post to help other adults / children who have this forgotten learning disability. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.